By Dr. Jetson Satya Gospel
Isn’t that sweet when you know that your child is possessive of you? But remember too much honey is going to hurt you. Likewise, we will discuss here ways to handle a possessive kid!
Let me share a few quotes as you ponder this journey of parenting a possessive child.
“If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love.”
― Thich Nhat Hanh, (Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life)
“You want to be free. You also want to be mine. You can’t be both.”
― Nenia Campbell, (Crowned by Fire)
“There are only two mortal sins in the world; one of these is to be cruel and the other is to possess, and they are both destructive of happiness.”
― John Cowper Powys, (A Glastonbury Romance)
Now as you read the quotes I have stated above, it poses a question whether possessiveness is a negative emotion. Yes, it is when it crosses limits. Your three year old may cling to you a lot due to separation anxiety or challenges she faces as normal part of growing. That is natural and I wouldn’t call it possessive. But if you find that your child is too possessive, you may do something about it. So how might you stop the possessive examples in your relationship with your kid? The initial step is to comprehend the reason why your kid opts to participate in a controlling way of behaving, and the subsequent step is to manage the basic sentiments that drive your child toward abnormal behavior.
The majority of us have some amounts of vulnerability surrounding our comfortable ties. A possessive child is similar. Here are some suggestions for dealing with your possessive child.
- Improve your child’s identity by telling them that they are admirable and fine by themselves, alone. Insist that they be reliable and competent. Oppose participating in envious, definitive or punishing ways of behaving
- Work towards improving confidence and self-dependence in your child. Don’t withdraw from her. Give her the company and guidance she needs but allow her to do activities independently or with other people.
- Acknowledge that these sentiments are from the past experiences
- Track down ways of quieting your nervousness
- Remove your relationship uneasiness with your kid if any
- Put new people and resources into your child’s life
- Converse with your child from a grown-up point of view
A few suggestions for parenting a possessive child are provided above. I trust that it would help you walk through a tough terrain and enter green pastures.