Study Strategies for Pre-schoolers

study-tips-for-pre-schoolers

Dr. Dhanalakshmi N.

Ph.D. (N), PG Psychological Counselling, M.Sc. Psychology

Introduction

Pre-Schoolers are special. They are changing from playing alone to playing together and their language capacity is developing. They learn and develop skills such as naming colors, shapes, etc., As the child grows, they become more independent and begin to explore the world. They are more curious and ask many questions. Learning or study strategies help parents to plan for their children to achieve successful learning.

Learning strategies

The below factors promote learning for kids:

Environment: It is important to provide a comfortable environment to promote learning. The environment includes natural ventilation, adequate lighting and a lack of noise. A proper environment will influence the child to focus better and prevent distraction.

Plan: “Make every day learning day” making a daily schedule for kids learning will minimize confusion and arouse interest among children. Schedule a fixed time to study daily. Plan regular breaks between studies since children’s minds cannot concentrate for more than 15 to 20 minutes. Children are naturally curious. All you have to do is give enough material and exposure. Don’t force them but encourage them to do the activities. Show excitement in learning and get them excited to learn new things.

Child’s Interest: Consider your child’s interest while planning the schedule. Consider the child’s interest in subjects, books, topics, stories and methods of learning.

Rewards: Provide positive rewards or reinforcement to strengthen the learning process. Encouragement influences the child to learn better.

Focus on strengths: It is important for parents to identify their children’s strengths and weaknesses to work with them better. Focus on children’s strengths and also  find ways to convert weakness to strength. For example, if your child finds maths difficult, use simple techniques. Make mathematics practical. For example, have her count bangles or objects she likes. Ask her to distribute, say three bangles, to each of the people in the room. Give her two green bangles and three red bangles and ask her how many bangles in total she has.

Focus on performance: Some parents are concerned about their children getting the highest score or grades. Parents must focus on how well the child learns rather than the grades.

A balanced life: Adequate rest, physical activity, a positive mindset, good environment and nutritious food will promote a child’s learning success. Regular physical activity promotes not only physical health but also promotes self-confidence, focus and concentration.

Role model: Parents should be role models to their children in learning, taking an effort to learn and showing enthusiasm. Pre-schoolers observe and imitate their parents. Try to be seen reading a book, writing and doing other positive things you want your children to emulate.

Review: Review with your child what was learned on the previous day before you teach a new topic. Recollecting information about past learning promotes a child’s memory.

What Learning Methods or techniques can be used to teach kids?

Observation: Children can be exposed to the natural environment and they can observe and experience sensory learning. Learning by seeing, hearing, touching, smelling and tasting. Studies have proven that visual learning retains memory longer than auditory learning.

Learning through play: The play method is the best method for younger children. Theme-based play can be organised. This method arouses the child’s interest and maintains her interest to learn more. Game-based learning is the best way to teach new ideas and knowledge to kids. Theme-based learning can be planned through

  • Singing and dancing,
  • Role play or acting out
  • Telling stories or reading stories
  • Interacting with other children
  • Hopping and climbing
  • Arts and crafts etc.,

Audio-visual aids: Audio-visual aids such as flashcards, posters, radio, tape-recorder, blackboard, pictures, models etc., are more effective and promote learning.

Sensory learning: Sensory play stimulates a child’s senses through hearing, seeing, touching, smelling and tasting. Children can be allowed to play with water, sand, clay, colour pencils or paints, puzzles, building blocks, planting a garden, playing with food etc., sensory play promotes language, gross and fine motor and cognitive development. It also strengthens the social interaction between children while playing. This method can be used as an alternative to reading.

Brainpower boosting activities and Yoga poses for kids

Clapping hands: Studies have proven that hand-clapping games improve a child’s writing skills and handwriting. It also improves mood and releases tension.

Squats (Thoppukaranam): Studies have shown that this is a great yoga technique to boost brain power. Daily practice of squats improves a child’s concentration, social skills, academic performance and class participation.

Tree poses: Making the child stand on tree poses daily will improve concentration.

Shavasana (corpse pose): Daily practice of Shavasana calms the mind and improves concentration.

Padmasana: It is also called the lotus pose. Daily practice of this pose helps to relax the mind and improves focus, concentration and memory power.

References

 

How to keep your child safe

how-to-keep-your-child-safe

By Siyona Varghese

 

Once your child can stand alone, he or she is prepared to explore the world more than ever before and each day becomes an adventure. Although it is a thrilling and enjoyable era of life, there are hazards and dangers there as well. Every child has the potential to be vulnerable at time, therefore it is only reasonable for parents to think about their child’s safety.

If you’re concerned, use these simple tips to help safeguard your young children:

Safety at Home

Several risks exist for children in an adult-friendly household. However, you can protect your child by identifying the risks and then minimizing or eliminating them.

Supervision: Despite the safety measures, kids can still trip and fall or get hurt otherwise. That is why supervision is essential for safeguarding your child at home.

Prevention of Burns and Scalds: Keep your toddler away from flames and hot surfaces to avoid burns. When your child is around potentially dangerous objects, such as stoves, oven, microwaves, heaters and other appliances, keep a constant check on them. Babies and children frequently experience scalds from hot meals, hot drinks (in your hands or baby’s) and overly hot baths. The recommended bath temperature for kids is between 32°C and 38°C, therefore always test the water temperature before bathing them.

Prevention of Falls: In every age group, falls are the leading cause of wounds and doctor visits. Install safety barriers across the entrances to stairways and balconies as soon as your youngster begins to crawl. Additionally, you must continue to keep an eye on your child when they are on balconies or stairs. Lock windows, especially those on upper floors, protect your child by using window guards that are firmly connected when they first start climbing.

Safety from Furniture: If furniture tips over and lands on top of your child, significant injuries may result. Furniture should not be easily pulled or knocked over by your child, so make sure it is solid. Bookcases and wardrobes can be secured to the wall or to the floor to lessen the chance that they will topple over. TVs should be braced or strapped to the wall. Avoid placing furniture with pointy edges near doorways and other areas where kids might be playing. If you are unable to move the furniture, use foam or edge protectors to cushion its corners.

Prevention of Poisoning: Children between the age of 3-6 are especially susceptible to poisoning since they are naturally curious. Toddlers who are still learning to chew on things are more likely to put something in their mouth, while preschoolers are often interested in the things that are kept in cabinet and drawers. Keep all medications, including vitamins, away from young kids. Never call medication “candy”, as it might send wrong messages to the child. Keep all your cleaning supplies and other potentially harmful items locked up in a cabinet or out of your child’s reach.

Prevention of Choking Hazards: 0-3 yrs age group is especially prone to choking because they put so many items, both edible and inedible in their mouths. Avoid giving them food items such as hard candy, chewing gums, entire grapes, raisins and toffees even up until the age of 6. Be careful with items such as raw carrots and nuts. Break them into smaller pieces that won’t cause a choking hazard. Keep objects like pebbles, safety pins, balloons, coins, buttons away from your child’s reach. When buying toys, especially ones with small parts, follow the recommended age ranges and check to see if they are in good condition. Be cautious as little ones put a lot of items in their mouths. The best way to protect is to be a vigilant adult.

Safety Outdoors

Children adore playing outside. It’s a great place to enjoy yourself and test one’s physical strength. Some special safety measures are needed to keep kids safe outside. Here are some suggestions:

Safety at Play: While playgrounds help toddlers develop physically, they are also the main site of accidents and injuries. Parents should therefore ensure that all playground equipment are suited for appropriate age and height, cushioned for safe landing and free from any design flaws, sharp edges or missing or loose fittings. Use bucket type swings for toddlers and young children.

Safety on Road: You can protect your young children from the risks of cars, driveways and streets by teaching them the fundamentals of pedestrian safety. Hold the toddler’s hand firmly if you’re walking alongside them. Don’t allow them to cross the road or walk alone. Teach your young child the basic traffic: stop, look both sides and then cross. In vehicles, tightly buckle your youngster into a car seat or other proper restraint.

Safety under the Sun: Being exposed to the sun for a certain amount of time can be beneficial for the toddler’s development. If the children must be outside in the sun for an extended period of time, parents can reduce the likelihood of heatstroke and sunburn by requiring children to wear hats and loose, comfortable clothing.

References

  1. https://www.nidirect.gov.uk/articles/keeping-children-safe-while-out-and-about
  2. https://www.cdc.gov/parents/children/safety.html
  3. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4292654/

Tips to encourage kids to Tidy up

tips-to-encourage-kids-to-tidy

In this article, the author recommends various ways by which you can make your child learn to tidy up after playing.

Here are a few suggestions:

  1. Sort all the toys into categories that can be stored while working with your child
  2. Explain them the importance of tidying up after playing with their toys.
  3. Do more than simply say “clean up.” . Try “Store your cars first, then proceed to the books” as an alternative. A large mess can easily overwhelm a preschooler, frequently because they don’t know where to start.
  4. Make sure to praise your youngster for their efforts.

To read the full article, please visit: https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/11-ways-teach-young-kids-value-cleaning-get-them-do-ncna1144321

 

How to engage toddlers in productive learning

how-to-engage-toddlers-in-productive-learning

By Dr. Dhanalakshmi N.

Ph.D. (N), PG Psychological Counselling, M.Sc. Psychology

Introduction

It can be challenging to keep preschoolers and toddlers interested. How can you engage a toddler whose favorite word is “no” and whose favourite question is “why”? The trick is to take advantage of their enthusiasm and narrow focus. Early childhood education participants have greater test scores and lower dropout rates. Additionally, it makes kids more likely to succeed in life later on.

How young children learn

Having connections with you, other family members and caretakers like early childhood educators is the cornerstone of your child’s healthy learning and development. A young toddler learns via routine play and exploration in a welcoming environment. Spending a lot of time playing and interacting with both you and other people will help your child develop life skills including talking, thinking, problem-solving and interacting with others.

Active participation in their surroundings helps your child learn best. Some of them include:

  • seeing objects, observing people and hearing voices
  • paying attention to sounds, producing sounds and asking questions like “But why?”
  • experimenting with objects, colors and elements like sand and water
  • Building things out of materials like cartons or toy blocks or otherwise engaging in activities that engage their senses of touch, taste, smell, vision and hearing is an example of discovering.
  •  Other activities include feeling objects, shaking them and turning them around. Toddlers also put objects in their mouths to learn about them. That’s natural. Just ensure they are protected from choking hazard and unclean surroundings.

Your child also learns by getting involved in decision making. This could be as simple as:

  • selecting reading material or playthings to use.
  • selecting an outfit to wear.
  • choosing vegetables for dinner, etc. All kids gain from experiencing a wide variety of activities. As a result, kids have several opportunities to practice what they have learnt. Your child needs both indoor and outdoor activities, physical activity and calm activities, unstructured play and more structured play, for instance.

Tips to engage your child to learn

  • Keep it brief: For children aged three and four, the typical attention span is eight to ten minutes. Make the most of your time while you have it because small kids have short attention spans. Schedule a 10-to-15-minute break between activities. If you need to finish a lengthy task, divide it into smaller sections and give the kids breaks in between to keep their attention.
  • Engage your child: by reading, singing and talking to them as often as you can.
  • Introduce various learning styles: Each child has preferred learning methods and learning styles that work best for her. You can utilise strategies to increase your child’s learning rate and quality by assisting her in identifying her preferred learning preferences. There are seven basic types of learning: auditory, visual, verbal, physical, logical (numerical), social and solitary. Children who are primarily visual, for instance learn best by observing how things operate.
  • Use Game-based learning: Playing video games in the classroom stimulates students to desire to learn while also providing opportunities for deeper understanding and the cultivation of non-cognitive skills. When a child is actively participating in a game, their brain finds it enjoyable to learn a new system.
  • Limit your child’s Media watching: Try to limit your child’s Media consumption (TV, Phone, Computer etc.). This applies whether you are home alone, have a babysitter or your kid is with you. Children need to hear and speak with adults in order to develop their language skills. It is possible and healthy to withhold TV altogether and keep the phone usage to a minimum of 15 minutes per day. Let your toddler learn from the people and environment instead.
  • Make sure your child does homework: Every night, review your child’s homework. Your child should be able to articulate what she is studying. Ensure that homework is finished. Find a quiet area for your kid to study if you can and devote time each night to homework.
  • Identify and celebrate achievements: You should acknowledge and applaud your child’s accomplishments, no matter how minor they may be. Children in elementary school need regular encouragement to study and improve, therefore this is particularly crucial for them.
  • Focus on strengths: For your child to develop and advance in a balanced academic and emotional way, you must concentrate on his or her strengths. Another technique for encouraging your child to keep learning is to emphasise her strengths.
  • Tell a story: Every now and then, children have trouble remembering certain information. But if you weave that content into a story, children will frequently get the lesson very quickly. You can tell stories about specific bits of information, such as the names of shapes or the alphabet’s letters.
  • Use colour: Learning in colour is exciting. Objects, words and images in vivid colours should be included in learning activities. Give children colouring pages with basic shapes, letters or numbers on them and then let them decorate the images with their own colours.
  • Make learning fun and every day a learning day: You may motivate your child to learn something new everyday. Keep it fun. Expose your child to new things, books and learning objects and they will automatically learn.

References

  1. https://www.readingrockets.org/article/simple-ways-encourage-learning
  2. https://www.educationcorner.com/motivating-your-child-to-learn.html
  3. https://raisingchildren.net.au/babies/play-learning/learning-ideas/learning-baby-to-preschool#how-babies-and-young-children-learn-nav-title
  4. https://www.helpteaching.com/blog/how-to-engage-young-learners-toddler-and-preschool.html

 

 

How to Nurture Curiosity in Children

how-to-nurture-curiosity-in-children

By Dr. Dhanalakshmi N.

Ph.D. (N), PG Psychological Counselling, M.Sc. Psychology

Introduction

When things don’t follow a pattern or make sense, kids become curious. Children have a natural desire for knowledge. Curiosity may provide an explanation for a child’s how, what, when, where and why questions. Children want to immediately understand the fundamentals of how things operate or understand why something is happening. A child that is naturally interested will always be open to new experiences and be imaginative, especially when dealing with everyday items.

In light of this, if your child frequently asks you questions, it means that she is beginning to think and that the natural progression of her cognitive growth has begun. You would be increasing your child’s knowledge when you answer the questions patiently. Curiosity is a good thing in children. But when children ask one question after another, sometimes you could lose your temper. However, the ability to maintain composure and self-control is very crucial for parents. The following tips to develop patience may help you.

https://dev.vitalma.in/blog/2023/01/08/tips-to-parents-to-develop-patience/

It is in fact a blessing to have curious children as that is the way they learn. When we nurture curiosity, you get children who are thirsty for knowledge.

Ways to keep curiosity alive

  • Answer to your child’s doubts: Respond to questions sincerely: Be thoughtful in your responses to your child’s concerns. If you don’t know the answer, seek answers together from Internet, books or experts. Help her feel comfortable with feelings of not knowing something, and also help her realize the eagerness of resolving doubt.
  • Nurture your child’s passions: Discover your child’s hobbies, then go exploring with him.
  • Redirect interests: If your child enjoys playing with water, instead of saying ‘Don’t’ when she throws a cup of water, give her water and containers, and allow her to play in an area that can be messed up. Show her acceptable ways of learning.
  • Ensure a safe environment: Safety should be your main concern when children are exploring their environment. Cover plug points and keep medicines, cleaners, sharp objects and hot surfaces out of their reach. Supervise children around water.
  • Give children stability: Young children succeed in a calm and orderly family life with regular mealtimes and bedtime routines. The schedule serves as a child’s clock because they are unable to tell the time. When children’s lives are stressful, they respond by playing less and exploring less. Children who experience abuse, neglect, violence, natural disasters or war lose their curiosity and do not explore like children raised in healthy, stable homes.
  • Choose toys wisely: Children need play materials they can operate. Blocks, boxes, puzzles, water and art materials can be  immense sources of fun and learning for your child.
  • Let them Explore: Give them magnets, buckets, magnifying glasses, measuring tape, sand, clay, water and measuring cups for their investigations and to keep their curiosity alive. Our kids will gravitate toward things they find appealing. Let them explore without pushing anything on them.  Being too strict or too careful could hinder the natural creativity of children. Give them the freedom to discover whatever they desire.
  • Make your child observant: Make your child observant by pointing out things and posing questions. Ask your child to describe her environment. Ask her to find five things in red color in the surroundings. Such small games will increase his awareness of his surroundings.
  • Address their curiosity: Children often come up with lots of questions. Address their questions without complications. Don’t ignore or overwhelm them with too much information.

References

  1. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6203666/pdf/nihms961935.pdf
  2. https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Patient-With-Kids

Tips to parents to develop patience 

tips-for-parents-to-develop-patience.

– By Dr. Dhanalakshmi N.

Ph.D. (N), PG Psychological Counselling, M.Sc. Psychology

Introduction

We love our young children but they can be a lot of work. During their early childhood, the demands of their upbringing can be sometimes taxing. Their cute questions may turn exhausting. Dealing with their tantrums may become seemingly impossible. However, it is very important to remember that they are just kids and that they are facing the pains of growing-up and we as adults must not lose our patience at least most of the times. Here are some tips to gain composure and remain calm, for parents in trying times.

  • Breathe and Relax: Before responding or reacting to your children, take a moment to breathe and center yourself. Tell yourself to wait if you notice your body tensing up or your heart starting to beat when you start to get frustrated. Take a five- count inhale and hold it for an additional five seconds. Gently exhale. As you do this, consciously relax your muscles. You could be taken aback by how much calmer you feel. Taking a minute to breathe slowly also gives you time to connect with your thoughts, which will help you respond calmly. If it calms you, repeat a word as you take deep breaths. You might simply say to yourself “I love my child.”
  • Never resort to physical violence: As tempting as it may be, avoid spanking, hitting, throwing and shaking at all costs. Avoid yelling and loud scolding too.
  • Step away for a moment if possible:  Take a short break to calm down and think before you react. If you’re struggling to remain patient, it’s completely fine to take a short break. Say something like, “Let’s meet after 5 minutes, and then we’ll discuss your situation.” If you are stepping away from a young child, leave her in the hands of a responsible adult first.
  • Practice patience: The more you practice being patient, the easier it gets. If you make a conscious effort to be calmer in your interactions with everyone, you’ll find it a lot easier to be patient with your child. For example, if you’re stuck behind a slow driver, you might say, “Gosh, we’re going slow. Oh well, at least we’ve got more time to enjoy the music.”
  • Spend time having fun with your kids: Relax and enjoy time together to reduce your frustration with each other.  Make a point of spending a little time every day just enjoying each other’s company. You might make simple cooking, play interesting games together, read a story to your child or allow them to choose an activity. If you don’t have a lot of time to schedule fun activities, don’t worry, simple things can be fun too. Make the most of the time you do have, even if it’s just spending a few minutes listening to music or reading a book together when you get home from work.
  • Set aside time for self-care: Do things that make you feel rested, healthy and happy. As a parent, we maybe place our children’s needs first, most frequently without looking after ourselves. It’s important to practice self-care so you have the energy and enthusiasm to care for your children. Get plenty of sleep since feeling rested can help you have patience. Eat nutritious food so you feel your best.  Spending time with your partner or friends is another important aspect of self-care. Make plans to get out with other adults occasionally since you could find that you become crankier when you haven’t spent time away from your children in a while.
  • Count to 10: Close your eyes, take deep breaths and count to 10. This is one of the oldest yet most effective calming-down techniques that is still recommended and practiced widely.
  • Forgive yourself: Occasionally, we all lose our patience. If you do, it is okay. Forgive yourself, reflect on it and be better the next time.

References

  1. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6203666/pdf/nihms961935.pdf
  2. https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Patient-With-Kids

How to deal with phone addiction in Kids?

how-to-deal-with-phone-addiction-in-kids

 By Dr. Jetson Satya Gospel

Let me start this discussion with a quote by Gordon B. Hinckley: Encourage your children to read more and watch television less”.

The Times of India, a news publication, recently published a two-part series about how children’s addiction to online gaming is turning them into criminals. In one instance, a child stole Rs 4.5 lakh from his family to pay for the game, while in the other, the child killed his own mother. According to the National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences, instances involving children’s psychological health have significantly increased (NIMHANS). Despite the worry surrounding these challenges, we can raise them with optimism if we take responsible action.

Here are some helpful suggestions to help your child de-addict from television and phone:

Take this acronym “ADDICTION” to be the answer to move children to safety zone offline.

A for Attitude: When parents at home start to adopt a new attitude, kids will soon follow. Be a role-model yourself which you want your kids to emulate.

D for Disconnect: Disconnect from devices and increase interaction with people for work and play. Spend time at home, with each other more and less with phones and devices.

D for Distance: Distance your children from devices. Shut off the TV in the background. Keep the phones out of sight.

I for Imbibe books: Imbibe the practice of reading printed books rather than e-books. Prefer books over cartoons.

C for Communication: Communicate with your children more.  Interact with your friends face to face more.

T for Target: Have a target of zero phone time for children under 18 months, and 15 minutes per day for children under 4 years. Thereafter, no more than an hour of time with devices including TV, Computer and Phone, for up to 6 years of age.

I for Invite: Invite your child’s friends to play physical games outdoors.

O for Oxygen: The much needed oxygen intake increases when you engage in activities outdoors. Walk, run and enjoy the outdoors.

N for No: Say NO to devices during eating & sleep time, firmly.

Avoiding phones and devices is the best practice. During the times that you must use devices, pay attention to keeping your children away from fast moving images and harmful content. The latter can be achieved by certain child safety settings on your phones and devices. Consider going offline before giving the devices to your kids under 6 years. That will also help reduce the exposure to radiation.

References

  1. https://www.quotemaster.org/children%27s+television
  2. https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/lucknow/online-gaming-addiction-is-turning-children-violent/articleshow/92094915.cms?from=mdr
  3. https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/parenting/teen/tips-to-help-your-child-withdraw-from-digital-addiction/articleshow/92977357.cms?from=mdr
  4. https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/hyderabad/study-play-sleep-repeat/articleshow/90947810.cms?from=mdr

Tips to soothe a crying child

how-to-soothe-crying-child

By Dr. Dhanalakshmi N.

Ph.D. (N), PG Psychological Counselling, M.Sc. Psychology.

Introduction

As children become older, they cry less. children cry when they are irritated, tired, not comfortable, having pain, angry or in distress. Make sure your kid isn’t sick or harmed before you ask them to stop crying. Find out the cause of your child’s distress and how you can help.

Types of cries

Infants typically cry for food when they wake simply because they are hungry. Your infant’s cry for food could become a loud cry if you don’t respond right away. You’ll notice the difference. The baby’s cries will get louder, stronger, and more persistent as she gets older.

Infants and older kids my cry out of hunger, hurt, over-stimulation, sleep deprivation or simply because they are upset about something. Look for the reason behind their cry first.

Ways to calm down a crying child

  • Rocking in a rocking chair or in your arms as you sway from side to side. The calming response is triggered in a child’s brain when being carried or rocked, causing the child’s heart rate to slow and the muscles to become more relaxed,
  • Softly massaging her head or patting her back or chest
  • Singing or talking
  • Playing soft music
  • Staying close and calm. It is important that your child knows that you are still there and with her; this might be by giving her a soothing hug, saying something or reassuring them in a gentle voice or keeping eye contact with the child. A soothing touch and reassuring voice go a long way. They are a better way to stop a child’s cry than scolding her.
  • Taking your child for a short walk. Going together for a short walk can be a great activity.  Avoid conversing for at least 5 to 10 minutes while walking so that the brain can relax, release the stress hormone cortisol and get flooded with endorphins (happy hormone).Talk about and acknowledge their feelings. If your child can express her feelings with words, it can help her recognize and manage her feelings.
  • If your child is older than 2, she may be able to communicate why she’s upset. But first, take her close to you, calm her down and then gently ask what is bothering her. You may also pose questions to see if she’s hurt, hungry or sleepy.
  • Once you know the reason, assure her that you understand her feelings and calm her down. Take the remedial action such as feeding her or giving her rest. If it is something that she needs to understand, explain things to her after she calms down.

References

  1. https://www.parents.com/baby/care/crying/ways-to-soothe-a-crying-baby/
  2. https://raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/behaviour/crying-tantrums/crying-children-1-8-years#preschoolers-and-school-age-children-crying-nav-title
  3. https://sunshine-parenting.com/10-ways-teach-kids-calm/
  4. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/crying-colic/Pages/Responding-to-Your-Babys-Cries.aspx

Anger management in Kids

Dealing-with-anger-management-in-kids

 – By Dr. Jetson Satya Gospel

My 4 year old gets angry easily. She throws things and shouts. How do I help her manage her anger? Do my kids need anger management or do I?

Let’s start our discussion with a dialogue between a Dad and his 4 year old daughter.

 Dad: Hey Dear! Do you realize what time it is? Isn’t it time to bed?  You are still digging on the mobile!

Daughter: I want to finish this game Daddy.

Dad: Do you honestly believe that that is a good excuse? 

Daughter:  Not at all–that is what I like to do now.

Dad: How many times do I have to ask you to hit the bed soon?

Daughter: Daddy I see you doing that too!

Dad:  That’s beside the point.

Daughter:  Starts crying …. (Action)

Dad:  Next time you use the phone before bed, there will be consequences.

Daughter:  Throws the mobile……… (Action)

Dad sighs with sadness and is about to scold his daughter

Let us stop the conversation between the Dad and the daughter here.

Some kids simply lose their temper from time to time, but other kids seem to remember things more negatively when things don’t go their way. The majority of the time, parents will need to provide additional support to their children to deal with their behaviour. Few would argue the fact that rage and aggression continue to rank among the most important and challenging issues faced by our society, even though official rates of aggression and violence among kids, teens and adults have decreased from their peak level.

Controlling quick reactions can be hard for young children and supporting them can be sometimes difficult for the parents. That is undoubtedly challenging. In any case, keep in mind that you’re trying to teach your children how to deal with anger. If you yell or give in, you’ll demonstrate the same behaviour you are trying to discourage. Your children will observe and witness your own incapability to deal with anger.

So, what can parents do? Here are some tips to deal with anger management issues in your child:

Handling your own irritation: Your behaviour sets an example for your child. When you handle yourself well, it will teach kids to do the same.

Directing feelings and overseeing conduct: These are abilities that foster gradually over time in parenting. Similar to several other skills, your kids should practice and learn them with your help.

Trying to be your kid’s partner: Both parents can support their children to overcome their unpleasant attitudes. Parents can partner with their kids in understanding what troubles them and what cause them to be angry, first. Then they can come up with strategies for the children to cope with their anger.

Modelling anger management: How you behave reflects on your children. When your child acts up, if you respond by screaming and shouting, that only encourages them to do the same. Be a role model in how you react towards your child’s anger and your child will learn to manage his anger better.

Making rules clear and sticking to them: Having guidelines at home is vital for a child’s development. Abiding by them is crucial too, for instance, you could say “No phones after 9pm”. Provide consequences for their actions.

Taking breaks: If you become angry or emotional, try to leave the child in another responsible adult’s hands and take some time off from the situation.

Resting: Ensure kids get sufficient rest. Rest is vital for their growth and development.

Keeping them active: Children that have strong attitudes can benefit much from dynamic play. Encourage your child’s favorite sports and outdoor activities. Let them spend their energy usefully and stimulate their intellect.

Here are some model conduct rules to try:

In our family, we don’t strike or yell in an offensive manner

  • There’s no shouting permitted.
  • You may not toss things or break things deliberately.

Most kids can learn strategies for managing their anger effectively. Talking to other adults about how they raise their children, as well as with teachers, school counsellors, and mentors, may be helpful. If the situation becomes out of hand and unnatural, your child’s primary care physician may recommend a professional counsellor.

 

References

  1. Nelson, W. M. III, Finch, A. J., Jr., & Ghee, A. C. (2012). Anger management with children and adolescents. In P. C. Kendall (Ed.), Child and adolescent therapy: Cognitive-behavioral procedures (pp. 92–139). Guilford Press
  2. Kendall, P. C. (Ed.). (2011). Child and adolescent therapy: Cognitive-behavioral procedures. Guilford Press.
  3. Rodriguez, C. M., & Green, A. J. (1997). Parenting stress and anger expression as predictors of child abuse potential. Child abuse & neglect, 21(4), 367-377.
  4. Holden, E. W., Willis, D. J., & Foltz, L. (1989). Child abuse potential and parenting stress: Relationships in maltreating parents. Psychological Assessment: A Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 1(1), 64.
  5. Burrell, B., Thompson, B., & Sexton, D. (1994). Predicting child abuse potential across family types. Child Abuse & Neglect, 18(12), 1039-1049.
  6. https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/children-and-young-adults/advice-for-parents/help-your-child-with-anger-issues/
  7. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4808268/
  8. https://www.eslfast.com/robot/topics/dailylife/dailylife19.htm

 

 

 

How to deal with temper tantrums in toddlers?

how-to-deal-with-temper-tantrums-in-kids

Dr. Dhanalakshmi N.

Ph.D. (N), PG Psychological Counselling, M.Sc. Psychology

Introduction

Understanding how to handle children’s tantrums is crucial for parents since it will ease their stress and encourage youngsters to behave well. Temper tantrums are accepted as a typical and frequent occurrence in early childhood, and yet they frequently cause parental discomfort. They are a common reason why parents seek help for their children’s mental health. Tantrums can happen as young as twelve months old, although they most frequently happen between the ages of two and three.

Why do children throw tantrums?

A tantrum is an expression of a young child’s frustration with her restrictions or anger about not being able to get her own way. Possibly your child is having trouble figuring something out or finishing a task. Maybe your child doesn’t have the words to express his or her feelings. Frustration might cause an outburst, resulting in a temper tantrum.

If your child is hungry, tired, feeling ill, or needs a changeover, her threshold for frustration is likely to be lesser and a tantrum is more likely to occur.

When is a temper tantrum not normal?

After the age of four, it is crucial to seek professional advice and correct this behaviour if tantrum episodes become more frequent, disrupt the child’s routine, cause harm to the child or others, or include holding one’s breath to the point of fainting.

Stages of a temper tantrum

A tantrum episode can be divided into three stages and understanding these stages will help you to manage future episodes effectively.

Stage 1: Screaming, yelling, crying and whining

Stage 2: Falling on the ground, continuously screaming, stamping on the ground, rolling on the ground

Stage 3: Whining continuously

Prevention of Tantrums

  • Prevention is better than cure: Prevention is the best way to handle frequent and recurrent temper tantrums, therefore trying to alleviate common triggers of temper tantrums such as fatigue, hunger, illness or injury can be helpful.
  • Be consistent: Create a daily schedule for your child so that they know what to expect. Maintain a schedule that balances enjoyable activities with ample rest and a nutritious diet as much as you can.
  • Let your child make appropriate choices: Give your kid a say in little things. Refrain from turning down everything. Would you prefer to read a book or construct a tower out of blocks, for instance?
  • Appreciate good behaviour: Children require regular encouragement and positive reinforcement. When your child demonstrates restraint, acknowledge them. Give your child more attention when they behave nicely. When your child follows instructions, give him or her a hug or express your pride in them.
  • Make agreements: Make sure you communicate your expectations regarding their behaviour with your child. Make agreements with them regarding their demands (e., what is allowed and what is not allowed) and remind them repeatedly.

Parenting a tantrum-prone child

There are times when parents and caregivers cannot avoid a tantrum but can minimize their stress by practicing consistent management strategies. Parents must adopt certain principles to manage a child’s temper tantrum behaviour. The abbreviation R.I.D.D. can help parents and caregivers handle a typical tantrum.

  • Remain calm and act as an example: It is advantageous to take a calm, redirecting, and distracting attitude. In a normal tone, say firmly “no biting.” Explain your guidelines in a calm manner once your child has calmed down.
  • Ignore the tantrum: Some children throw tantrums to seek attention. Try ignoring the tantrum, but pay attention to your child after she calms down. Spend quality time with your child so she doesn’t have to seek attention.
  • Distract the child: Take your child to a quiet place where she can calm down safely. Speak softly or play soft music.
  • Say “yes”: Yield to a child’s demands when necessary to the child’s physical and safety needs, but resist pressure to comply at other times. If you yield every time, it could encourage undesirable conduct.

Do not use physical punishment as it may lead to tantrum behaviour that is more serious or persistent. Physical punishment teaches a child that it is acceptable to hit someone when they are angry or irritated.

Managing Tantrums based on stages

Stage 1: Screaming, yelling, crying, and whining

Move: Take the child to a different place. Take your child to a quiet place where he or she can calm down safely. Speak softly or play soft music.

Distract: Young children have a brief attention span. Use it and try to divert the child and offer something else. Involve them in a different activity and take the child away from the environment of the tantrum.

Negotiate: Provide an alternative to what the child is asking/wanting.

Stage 2: Falling to the ground, continuing to scream, stamping on the floor, and rolling on the ground

In order to prevent a child from hurting themselves, make sure that there is adequate room. Avoid focusing on or responding to the child’s attention-seeking behaviour.

Stage 3: Continues to whine

Sooth and console the child physically. The child may feel more safe and defuse a tantrum more quickly if you hold them.
Give the kid different toys or activities to try.

What if my child becomes destructive or dangerous?

If a tantrum worsens, remove your child from the situation immediately especially if it could become dangerous. Sooth her by showing tenderness and understanding. Divert her attention. Some people prefer timeouts but note that timeouts should be done in the spirit of providing a safe space to the child to calm down rather than as a punishment. If you want to impose a timeout, consider the following:

  • Timeout is not a punishment: Don’t make the child feel that timeout is a punishment. Rather, make it a safe place where she can cool down.
  • Select a timeout spot: Make your kid sit in a dull spot, like a chair in the living room or the floor in the hallway. Hold off until your child has calmed down. Show that you love and care for her. Sooth her. Consider giving your child a timeout for one minute for each year of age.
  • Stick with it: If your child starts to walk around before the timeout is over, return her to the designated timeout spot, while showing her that you care for her.
  • Know when to end the timeout: Discuss the purpose of the timeout and why the behaviour was improper with your child once they have calmed down. Go back to your regular activities after that. However, don’t overuse timeouts or they won’t be effective.

In these challenging times, make sure to create an environment of positivity at home to try to make children feel happy and relaxed. Take care of yourself too – because if you are happy, your family will be happy.

References

  1. https://www.unicef.org/india/parentingtips/handling-temper-tantrums#:~:text=Provide%20positive%20attention%3A%20Observe%20your,have%20a%20short%20attention%20span.
  2. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK544286/