The Ultimate Guide for Developing Patience as a Parent

ultimate-guide-for-parents-to-develop-patience

By Dr. Dhanalakshmi N.

Ph.D. (N), PG Psychological Counselling, M.Sc. Psychology

Introduction

Parenting is an art. Every parent loves their children and yet, we all had experienced losing our temper sometimes. It is important to practice patience daily while caring for our children because children imitate by observing us. Practicing patience will benefit our health, family and other people around us.

The following are some strategies for parents to practice patience while caring for their children:

  1. Identify triggers: Identify the factors causing you to lose your patience. Finding the cause will help you to prevent the triggers or solve the problem.
  2. Self-care: Caring for children and managing their daily activities may be stressful at times. It is important for the parents to care for them with a nutritious diet, adequate sleep, exercise, yoga, meditation and relaxation techniques that will promote their physical and mental well-being and also helps to manage their emotions appropriately. Set a time for yourself.
  3. Practice patience: Whenever you feel stressed and frustrated, consciously calm down and think twice before you answer or speak to your child. Whenever you are angry, practice counting from one to ten before you answer your child. Avoid raising your voice, hitting, shouting or screaming etc.
  4. Practice breathing: Sit in a comfortable place, close your eyes, begin with a few normal breaths and followed by deep breaths, breathing deeply through the nose and breathing out through the mouth. Focus on breaths while practicing. Practice 10 to 20 minutes daily. While breathing relax your muscles and body.
  5. Practice mindfulness techniques: Live in the present moment. Living in the past makes you depressed and living in the future will lead to anxiousness. Live in the present moment by mindful eating, mindful bathing, mindful talking, mindful breathing, mindful working etc., being aware of every activity will promote satisfaction and balance your emotions. For example, feel the color, texture and taste of the food while eating than eating food by watching TV or phone.
  6. Practice Gratitude Journal: Set a regular time to record three to five things for which you feel grateful. Write down an inspiring person, good experiences, happy moments, and blessings etc., Daily practice of a gratitude journal promotes a good mood, positive emotions, satisfaction with life and develops patience.
  7. Practice listening skills: Listen to your child before you respond or react to your child’s behaviour. Ask your child to explain her behaviour or the reason for her behaviour, this will help the parents to understand the child from her perspective.
  8. Practice kindness: Practice kindness. One who is kind to self will be kind to others. Practicing kindness helps you to develop patience. Being kind to self and others reduces the secretion of stress hormone(cortisol) and promotes self-confidence and compassion.
  9. Assess the child’s needs: Assess the child’s needs frequently and meeting the needs will prevent stress and frustration for the child and also for the parents. Making a schedule from waking to bedtime will prevent confusion and minimizes stress.
  10. Work-life balance: Plan for a fun day. Spend time together with your child, relax and enjoy playing some fun games, sharing some stories, doing art and craft work, taking a short walk or planning for a picnic etc., setting time for having fun daily promotes happy hormones and balances your emotions. Daily we have the opportunity to practice patience

Conclusion

Patience is important in our daily life. Practicing the above strategies will help as the key factor to developing patience at home, office and while waiting at a traffic signal etc., Daily practice will help parents to develop patience.

Reference:

By vitalmadevadmin in Behaviour and Discipline, Child Safety, Parent Care 0 Comment

The Importance of Play in the Development of 3-Year-Olds

importance-of-play-for-kids

Play is an essential part of a 3-year-old child’s development. It is through play that children can develop important cognitive, social, emotional and physical skills that will serve as a foundation for their future growth and learning. In this article, I will highlight the importance of play in the development of 3-year-olds.

Cognitive Development

At the age of 3, children are actively exploring and experimenting with their environment. They are curious about everything and eager to learn new things. Play provides them with the opportunity to engage in a wide range of activities that promote cognitive development. For example, playing with puzzles and blocks helps children develop problem-solving skills and spatial awareness. Pretend play, such as playing house, helps children develop language skills and learn about social roles and responsibilities. Board games and memory games help children develop their memory and concentration skills.

Social Development

Play is also important for social development. It is through play that children learn how to interact with others, negotiate, share and take turns. Playing with other children also helps them develop empathy and learn how to regulate their emotions. Social play is essential for 3-year-olds as it helps them understand the concept of friendship, build relationships and learn how to work together with others. It is also through play that children learn to express themselves, communicate their thoughts and feelings and develop self-confidence.

Emotional Development

At the age of 3, children are learning how to regulate their emotions. They may have outbursts of anger or frustration and they are still learning how to express their feelings in appropriate ways. Play provides children with a safe and nurturing environment where they can express their emotions and learn to manage them. For example, pretend play allows children to act out different scenarios and explore different emotions in a safe and controlled environment. Playing with dolls or stuffed animals also helps children develop empathy and learn to care for others.

Physical Development

Play is also essential for physical development. It provides children with opportunities to develop their gross motor and fine motor skills. For example, playing outdoors helps children develop their gross motor skills as they run, jump, climb and explore their surroundings. Playing with playdough or drawing helps children develop their fine motor skills as they manipulate small objects and develop their hand-eye coordination. Physical play also helps children develop their overall health and well-being.

Tips for Encouraging Play in 3-Year-Olds

As parents and caregivers, there are many ways we can encourage play in 3-year-olds. Here are a few tips:

  1. Provide a Safe and Nurturing Environment: Children need a safe and nurturing environment where they can play freely without fear of getting hurt. Ensure that the play area is free of hazards, and provide appropriate supervision when needed.
  2. Offer a Variety of Toys and Materials: Children need a variety of toys and materials to stimulate their imagination and creativity. Provide toys that are age-appropriate, such as puzzles, blocks, playdough, dolls and stuffed animals.
  3. Encourage Pretend Play: Pretend play is an essential part of a 3-year-old’s development. Encourage your child to engage in pretend play by providing costumes, props and a space to act out different scenarios.
  4. Play with Your Child: Playing with your child is an excellent way to bond with her and encourage her development. Get down on the floor and engage in play activities with her.
  5. Limit Screen Time: Screen time can be detrimental to a child’s development. Limit the amount of time your child spends in front of screens and encourage her to engage in physical and social activities. It is possible to withhold TV altogether and limit phone time to 15 minutes a day for children of 2-4 years. You can ensure screen time is limited to 30 to 60 minutes per day for children above 4, also making sure they are not in front of TV or media for more than 30 minutes at a time.

In conclusion, play is a vital component in the development of 3-year-olds. Through play, children can acquire essential skills such as communication, problem-solving and socialization, among others. It is a way for them to explore the world around them and make sense of it. Parents, caregivers and educators should prioritize playtime and provide a safe and stimulating environment for children to play. By doing so, we can help children develop holistically, laying the foundation for success in their future endeavors. In fact, play, work and learning are interchangeable at this age.  Wouldn’t it be great if children perceive learning and work as a joy and continue that feeling into their adulthood?

By vitalmadevadmin in Development and Milestones 0 Comment

What can my 3 year old child do?

Your child’s play, learning, speech, behaviour, and movement provide crucial hints about their development. In the article, the author describes the milestones and activities that are expected of a 3 year old child. The author also lists a few easy tips and activities that can help your child learn and develop.

Among them are:

  1. Encouraging your child to solve her own difficulties with your help. Ask her questions to improve your understanding of the issue. Help her come up with solutions, test one, and repeat if necessary.
  2. Discussing your child’s feelings with him and offer him vocabulary to use in expressing himself. Teach your child to take deep breaths, embrace a beloved toy, or go to a quiet, safe location when he  is unhappy to help him handle anxious feelings.
  3. Establishing a few straightforward guidelines that your child can follow, such as using gentle hands when playing. If he disobeys a rule, demonstrate an alternative to him. If your child later complies with the rule, acknowledge and praise him.

You can read the full article here: https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/milestones-3yr.html

By vitalmadevadmin in Development and Milestones 0 Comment

How to Parent a possessive kid?

how-to-deal-with-possessive-kid

By Dr. Jetson Satya Gospel

Isn’t that sweet when you know that your child is possessive of you? But remember too much honey is going to hurt you. Likewise, we will discuss here ways to handle a possessive kid!

Let me share a few quotes as you ponder this journey of parenting a possessive child.

“If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love.”
― Thich Nhat Hanh,  (Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life)

“You want to be free. You also want to be mine. You can’t be both.”
― Nenia Campbell, (Crowned by Fire)

“There are only two mortal sins in the world; one of these is to be cruel and the other is to possess, and they are both destructive of happiness.”
― John Cowper Powys, (A Glastonbury Romance)

Now as you read the quotes I have stated above, it poses a question whether possessiveness is a negative emotion. Yes, it is when it crosses limits. Your three year old may cling to you a lot due to separation anxiety or challenges she faces as normal part of growing. That is natural and I wouldn’t call it possessive. But if you find that your child is too possessive, you may do something about it. So how might you stop the possessive examples in your relationship with your kid? The initial step is to comprehend the reason why your kid opts to participate in a controlling way of behaving, and the subsequent step is to manage the basic sentiments that drive your child toward  abnormal behavior.

The majority of us have some amounts of vulnerability surrounding our comfortable ties. A possessive child is similar. Here are some suggestions for dealing with your possessive child.

  1. Improve your child’s identity by telling them that they are admirable and fine by themselves, alone. Insist that they be reliable and competent. Oppose participating in envious, definitive or punishing ways of behaving
  2. Work towards improving confidence and self-dependence in your child. Don’t withdraw from her. Give her the company and guidance she needs but allow her to do activities independently or with other people.
  3. Acknowledge that these sentiments are from the past experiences
  4. Track down ways of quieting your nervousness
  5. Remove your relationship uneasiness with your kid if any
  6. Put new people and resources into your child’s life
  7. Converse with your child from a grown-up point of view

A few suggestions for parenting a possessive child are provided above. I trust that it would help you walk through a tough terrain and enter green pastures.

References

  1. https://www.psychalive.org/relationship-possessiveness/
  2. https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/870836-peace-is-every-step-the-path-of-mindfulness-in-everyday-life
By vitalmadevadmin in Behaviour and Discipline 0 Comment

How to handle children with ADHD?

how to handle children with ADHD

By Dr. Dhanalakshmi N.

Ph.D. (N), PG Psychological Counselling, M.Sc. Psychology

 

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can disturb a child’s ability to pay attention or sit silently at school and, it also can affect relationships with family and other children. Children with ADHD often show behaviors that can be very troublesome to others. Behavior therapy is a treatment option that can benefit in reducing these disruptive behaviors.

Goals of Behaviour Therapy

  • It helps parents to better understand their child’s actions.
  • It teaches parents how to create a structured environment.
  • It encourages positive behaviors and discourages unwanted or negative conduct in the child.

Tips for Parents to Improve Their Child’s Behavior

  • Set a routine: Try to follow the same schedule every day, from the time you wake up to bedtime.
  • Get organized: Encourage your child to set school bags, clothing, and toys in the same place every day so that they will be less likely to lose them.
  • Manage distractions: Turn off the TV, limit noise, and provide a clean workspace when your child is doing homework. 
  • Limit choices: To help your child not feel overwhelmed, offer choices with only a few options. For example, have them choose between two outfits/meals/toys.
  • Be clear and specific when you talk with your child: Let your child know you are listening by repeating what you heard them say. Use clear, short instructions when you need them to do something.
  • Help your child plan: Break down big tasks into smaller, shorter steps. For long tasks, start early and take breaks to limit stress.
  • Set Goals and offer praise or rewards: Make sure the goals are genuine and that your child will be able to follow them. It’s important to start with small steps. Identifying positive behaviors and appreciating or rewarding their efforts will strengthen such behavior in a child.
  • Discipline effectively: Instead of scolding, shouting, and engaging in physical abuse, use effective instructions such as removal of related privileges as consequences for the child’s inappropriate behavior. 
  • Create positive opportunities: Children with ADHD may find certain situations stressful. Identifying and encouraging the hidden talents of your child such as academics, sports, art, music, or play—can help to create positive experiences.
  • Provide a healthy lifestyle: Healthy food, lots of physical activity and sufficient sleep are important; they can prevent the progression of ADHD symptoms.
  • Practice good sleep patterns: Numerous issues stem from a lack of sleep; nevertheless, the quality of sleep is more essential than quantity. Poor sleep can harm ADHD, but sufficient sleep can help control energy levels and promote happiness.  

To conclude, children with ADHD might present difficulties for their parents and other caretakers. However, kids with ADHD can succeed and be happy with the correct support. Do not view ADHD as a behavioral issue or as a result of poor parenting. It is a special task with distinct benefits. You must consult a medical professional who is knowledgeable in ADHD in kids, for a personal and accurate diagnosis and treatment. 

Check out Children with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) to get a better understanding.

 

References

  1. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/behavior-therapy.html
  2. https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/childhood-adhd/add-vs-adhd#:~:text=Is%20there%20a%20difference%3F,%2C%20or%20ADHD%2C%20combined%20type.
  3. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/321621#twenty-one-parenting-tips
  4. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/documents/adhd-behavior-therapy-healthcare-fact-sheet.pdf
  5. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/documents/adhd-behavior-therapy-overview-all-ages.pdf
  6. https://childmind.org/article/help-for-parents-with-adhd/#treatingparents-with-adhd
By vitalmadevadmin in Behaviour and Discipline, Health and Special Needs 0 Comment

How can I make my child eat healthy food?

How-can-I-make-my-child-eat-healthy

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       – By Siyona Varghese

Kids and families today lead hectic lives. This makes it challenging to prepare daily meals from scratch. A lot of youngsters’ diets include takeout and other convenient foods. Getting your kids to eat healthily can be difficult due to peer pressure and junk food availability and commercials on TV. The health of your child may suffer as a result. Some of the issues caused by improper diet can continue into adulthood.

However, adopting a nutritious diet can have a significant impact on your child’s health, helping them in maintaining a healthy weight, regulating their moods, improving their memory, and reducing the number of health issues. A nutritious diet can also have a significant impact on mental and emotional health of your child. It can assist in the prevention of disorders such as ADHD, anxiety, depression and so on. It is vital to keep in mind that your children do not naturally crave junk food such as burgers and pizza and dislike green veggies. As youngsters are exposed to an increasing number of bad food options, they gradually develop this conditioning. You may, however, change your kid’s food preferences so they start to seek healthier meals. Keep healthy food options available to your children while keeping junk food out of sight. Maintain consistent food timings everyday and ensure they eat on time so they don’t develop cravings.

The earlier you start introducing healthy, nutritious meals to a child’s diet, the simpler it will be for them to form a positive, lifelong relationship with food. It might also be quicker and easier than you think. Using these suggestions, you can teach your children good eating habits without making mealtimes a struggle, giving them the best chance to develop into healthy, balanced individuals. You can encourage and teach your kids to eat properly in a variety of ways including the following.

Tips to encourage your children to eat healthy

Set an Example: The greatest method for you to promote healthy eating is to practice good eating yourself. Children will take after the adults they regularly interact with. You’ll be conveying the appropriate message if you consume fruits and vegetables in moderation rather than overindulging in less healthy foods.

Serving reasonable portions and avoiding overeating are two other ways to set an example for the kids (1). Talk to younger kids in particular about your emotions of fullness. You might say, “Although the food tastes really good, I’m going to stop eating now since I feel already full.” Children may take after their parents who constantly diet or worry about their physique, in the same way. Maintain a cheerful attitude when discussing food.

Involve children in decision making:  You can include young kids in decision making especially if they are 4 years or older. Allow your children to assist you in grocery and meal planning. You can teach kids how to read food labels, if they are able to read, so they are aware of the nutrient content of the items they are selecting. Further, they can assist in the meal preparation and take some responsibility for their food. The majority of children will love choosing the dinner menu. Discuss making decisions and preparing a balanced dinner with them. Choose age-appropriate duties for the kids so that they can participate without getting hurt or feeling overloaded (2).

Also, don’t forget to thank the cook when the meal is ready. Kids should participate in decision making for another crucial reason: it might help them develop the skills necessary to make wise choices about the meals they wish to eat on their own. Even though it’s not a guarantee, the mealtime routines you help them establish today may inspire a lifetime of healthy decisions.

Limit Outside Food: Apps for food delivery have grown rapidly during the recent years. What most parents may not be aware of, is that consuming food frequently from outside the home is strongly linked with having a high BMI (body mass index) (3). Both the elderly and young populations continue to experience an epidemic of overweight and obesity, today.

You don’t have to make major changes to your family’s diet plan. Find a few healthy substitutes in your cupboard or refrigerator. Add healthier items gradually until you’ve started making better eating choices. Early in life, food preferences start appearing. Introduce various foods to your child early on. Make sure that your toddler can see the whole fruit by leaving it out on the kitchen table, this will act as a simple reminder. Reducing processed foods, and visits to restaurants and fast-food outlets will greatly improve your child’s physical health.

Do not use food as Reward or Punishment: Parents frequently give their children a “special” food item as a reward for positive behavior or a job well done. And those food items are usually unhealthy. Such parents may also be denying those foods as a type of discipline. For instance, you may have been declining to offer dessert if your kids argued or didn’t tidy up their rooms (4). However, rewarding or punishing children with food can go against the healthy eating lessons you’re attempting to teach them. Children end up frequently consuming meals that are heavy in sugar and fats, when they are used to treats like candy, chips or sugary carbonated drinks as rewards. Even worse it messes with youngsters’ inborn capacity to control their eating. Additionally, it tempts children to indulge in foods even when they are not hungry. By rewarding children with junk foods, you are sending the wrong message that junk foods are to be aspired to.

Bottom line:

What matters are the decisions your children make about their food choices, in the long run. Your children may enjoy eating ice-cream sundaes or popcorn at the movies. And that’s okay. Your kids will be alright as long as you keep the balance between fun times and healthy eating and exercise. You don’t need to work too hard to get your kids to eat healthily. If you keep providing nutritious food, kids will keep consuming it. They’ll also learn how to eat independently which is essential for long-term health. It’s time to put these strategies into use and inspire your kids to eat healthy nutritious food. Surely, you’ll be able to make meals less of a struggle for the younger generation while still promoting lasting healthy habits.

References

1. https://familydoctor.org/nutrition-tips-for-kids/

2. https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/habits.html

3. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnut.2020.00014/full

4. https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?

By vitalmadevadmin in Nutrition and Meals 0 Comment