Dr. Dhanalakshmi N.
Ph.D. (N), PG Psychological Counselling, M.Sc. Psychology
Introduction
Around 3 years of age, children start growing more self-reliant and begin to concentrate more on adults and kids outside the household. They start to explore and ask about the things around them even more. Their interactions with their family and their environment will influence how they think and behave, as well as how they express themselves. During this stage, children should be able to ride a tricycle, be able to dress themselves, play with other children, recall part of a story and sing a song.
How can we encourage independence in pre-schoolers?
Set predictable routines
It can come as a surprise, but fostering independence requires establishing a reliable routine. Even brushing your teeth is a routine because there are several procedures that are constantly performed in the same order: turning on the water, rinsing the toothbrush, applying toothpaste, brushing, rinsing, and drying your hands and mouth. Likewise, going outside requires putting on shoes/slippers, packing a snack and so on.
Let your child choose
Involve your child in deciding what to wear, what to play with, or whom to call. Provide two or three options, and then praise their ability to make a choice.
Let your child help
Children love to help! In addition to building independence, this is a great tool for calming tantrums or redirecting behaviour by giving them a sense of control.
Give your child task or responsibilities
Giving kids responsibilities will encourage cooperation and the growth of empathy. Your child can display appropriate responsibility by performing simple activities like gathering toys or placing laundry in the hamper. In fact, you can incorporate these duties into your regular schedule. For instance, helping load the dishwasher or carrying their plate to the sink might be a part of your child’s mealtime ritual.
Let your child solve problems on her own
Allow your child to attempt difficult tasks and handle minor issues on their own. We frequently blame kids for our tension or frustration. We must allow kids to fall while they are initially learning to crawl or walk. Similar to this, we must allow kids to put their shoes on the wrong foot when they are learning to do so. To move your child on to the next stage, wait until they ask for assistance or make a minor suggestion. Don’t forget to give credit to the effort made.
Nurture free play
Independent and unstructured play is very important for development of creativity, problem-solving and independence. Offer your pre- schooler a variety of art materials such as crayons, markers, chalk, finger paints and building materials/blocks.
Things to say when they work/play
- Offer verbal feedback, when you are giving positive comments about the qualities that you want to foster in your child and making it more likely these behaviours will happen again.
- Praise your child’s right behaviour. For example, “Good job building up those blocks!” or, “I’m proud of you for replacing the toys in place.
- Use reflective speech in order to convey to your child that you are listening and comprehending, For instance, if your kid says, “I constructed a tower,” you can respond, “You made a tower, Wow!”
- Play and interact in ways that are appropriate. This encourages teamwork by rewarding good behaviour with favourable attention, which is the most effective reward. For instance, when your child constructs a tower, you start stacking blocks as well.
- Explain the behaviour of your child. This reinforces your child’s constructive play and gets their attention. I notice you drew a rainbow, or we’re building a tower together, these are some possible responses.
- Show Interest while talking with your child. Your interaction with your child feels warmer and more engaging as a result. You may, for instance, speak in a fun tone, speak with exaggerated emotion, and smile frequently.