The Ultimate Guide for Developing Patience as a Parent

ultimate-guide-for-parents-to-develop-patience

By Dr. Dhanalakshmi N.

Ph.D. (N), PG Psychological Counselling, M.Sc. Psychology

Introduction

Parenting is an art. Every parent loves their children and yet, we all had experienced losing our temper sometimes. It is important to practice patience daily while caring for our children because children imitate by observing us. Practicing patience will benefit our health, family and other people around us.

The following are some strategies for parents to practice patience while caring for their children:

  1. Identify triggers: Identify the factors causing you to lose your patience. Finding the cause will help you to prevent the triggers or solve the problem.
  2. Self-care: Caring for children and managing their daily activities may be stressful at times. It is important for the parents to care for them with a nutritious diet, adequate sleep, exercise, yoga, meditation and relaxation techniques that will promote their physical and mental well-being and also helps to manage their emotions appropriately. Set a time for yourself.
  3. Practice patience: Whenever you feel stressed and frustrated, consciously calm down and think twice before you answer or speak to your child. Whenever you are angry, practice counting from one to ten before you answer your child. Avoid raising your voice, hitting, shouting or screaming etc.
  4. Practice breathing: Sit in a comfortable place, close your eyes, begin with a few normal breaths and followed by deep breaths, breathing deeply through the nose and breathing out through the mouth. Focus on breaths while practicing. Practice 10 to 20 minutes daily. While breathing relax your muscles and body.
  5. Practice mindfulness techniques: Live in the present moment. Living in the past makes you depressed and living in the future will lead to anxiousness. Live in the present moment by mindful eating, mindful bathing, mindful talking, mindful breathing, mindful working etc., being aware of every activity will promote satisfaction and balance your emotions. For example, feel the color, texture and taste of the food while eating than eating food by watching TV or phone.
  6. Practice Gratitude Journal: Set a regular time to record three to five things for which you feel grateful. Write down an inspiring person, good experiences, happy moments, and blessings etc., Daily practice of a gratitude journal promotes a good mood, positive emotions, satisfaction with life and develops patience.
  7. Practice listening skills: Listen to your child before you respond or react to your child’s behaviour. Ask your child to explain her behaviour or the reason for her behaviour, this will help the parents to understand the child from her perspective.
  8. Practice kindness: Practice kindness. One who is kind to self will be kind to others. Practicing kindness helps you to develop patience. Being kind to self and others reduces the secretion of stress hormone(cortisol) and promotes self-confidence and compassion.
  9. Assess the child’s needs: Assess the child’s needs frequently and meeting the needs will prevent stress and frustration for the child and also for the parents. Making a schedule from waking to bedtime will prevent confusion and minimizes stress.
  10. Work-life balance: Plan for a fun day. Spend time together with your child, relax and enjoy playing some fun games, sharing some stories, doing art and craft work, taking a short walk or planning for a picnic etc., setting time for having fun daily promotes happy hormones and balances your emotions. Daily we have the opportunity to practice patience

Conclusion

Patience is important in our daily life. Practicing the above strategies will help as the key factor to developing patience at home, office and while waiting at a traffic signal etc., Daily practice will help parents to develop patience.

Reference:

By vitalmadevadmin in Behaviour and Discipline, Child Safety, Parent Care 0 Comment

The Role of Parents in Supporting the Emotional Development of 3-Year-Olds and Older kids

role-of-parents-in-emotional-development-of-3-year-olds

By Siyona Varghese

As a parent, you play a vital role in supporting your child’s emotional development, especially during their early years. Emotional development is the process by which children learn to express and manage their emotions effectively. It’s a critical part of their growth that lays the foundation for their social and cognitive development.

Three-year olds are at a crucial stage in their emotional development, where they begin to understand and express their feelings in more complex ways. They become more aware of their emotions and those of others around them, which makes it an ideal time for parents to focus on supporting their child’s emotional development.

Here are some ways parents can help their 3-6 year-olds develop emotionally:

Create a safe and secure environment: A child’s emotional development is directly influenced by their environment. As a parent, it’s essential to create a safe and secure environment where your child feels loved and valued. This means creating a home that is free from conflict and providing your child with a sense of stability and consistency. For instance, try not to have conflicts, fights and emotionally charged arguments with other adults in front of your child. Ensure your child understands that you love her and that she can depend upon you.

Encourage expression of emotions: It’s important to encourage your child to express their emotions openly and honestly. Help your child to recognize and name their feelings (such as anger, sadness, frustration, happiness), so they can learn to manage them effectively. Encourage them to talk about their emotions and ask questions to help them understand their feelings better.

Provide positive feedback: Positive feedback is crucial to a child’s emotional development. It helps to build their self-esteem and confidence. Provide your child with positive feedback regularly, such as praising them for their efforts or accomplishments and make sure they feel valued and loved. Rather than praising them generally, praise them for something they did right.

Do not focus on the negative: Do not harp on the negative as it may reinforce that negative activity. In case of behaviour or action you disapprove, tell them once about what they did wrong and focus on changing it in a positive way. Do not call a child ‘bad’ or ‘naughty’ as they may start seeing themselves in that way. You can call an action as bad but not the child.

Help your child develop empathy: Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Helping your child develop empathy is an essential part of their emotional development. Encourage them to put themselves in other people’s shoes and think about how they would feel in different situations. Teach them to be kind and considerate towards others. Be aware that empathy develops slowly. Your child may start showing empathy from age 3 but it doesn’t fully develop until children are 8 to 10 years old or even older.  Help your child understand other’s feelings and being kind towards them but don’t get frustrated if they don’t show empathy right away as it is a slow process.

Be a good role model: Parents are the most influential role models for their children. Your children are likely to model their behavior based on what they see you do. As a parent, it’s essential to model positive behavior and emotional regulation. Show your children how to manage their emotions effectively and respond to different situations appropriately.

Provide opportunities for social interaction :Social interaction is crucial for your child’s emotional development. It helps them learn to communicate, share and develop friendships. Provide opportunities for your child to interact with other children their age, such as play-dates or attending a preschool or daycare.

Teach your child to problem-solve: Problem-solving is an important part of emotional development. It helps children learn to manage their emotions and deal with challenging situations effectively. Teach your child problem-solving skills by encouraging them to think critically and come up with solutions to different problems they encounter.

In conclusion, parents play a crucial role in supporting the emotional development of their 3-year-olds. Creating a safe and secure environment, encouraging the expression of emotions, providing positive feedback, helping your child develop empathy, being a good role model, providing opportunities for social interaction and teaching your child to problem-solve are all essential steps in supporting your child’s emotional development.

By supporting your child’s emotional development, you are laying the foundation for their future success in life. It’s essential to remember that emotional development is a process and every child develops at their own pace. Be patient, supportive and consistent in your approach and your child will thrive emotionally.

References

By vitalmadevadmin in Behaviour and Discipline, Development and Milestones 0 Comment

Healthy Meal Planning for Busy Parents: Tips and Tricks

healthy-eating

As a busy parent, finding the time to plan and prepare healthy meals can be a real challenge. With a million and one things on your to-do list, it’s easy to resort to fast food or takeout when it comes to mealtime. However, making healthy meals a priority for your family is crucial for their overall health and well-being.

Here are some tips and tricks for healthy meal planning for busy Indian parents:

Plan ahead:

The first step in healthy meal planning is to plan ahead. Set aside some time each week to plan out your meals for the week ahead. This will not only save you time in the long run but will also help you make healthier food choices.

When planning your meals, consider what ingredients you already have in your pantry and fridge. This will help you avoid buying unnecessary items and reduce food waste. You can also consider preparing some meals in advance and freezing them for later in the week.

Make a grocery list:

Once you have your meals planned out for the week, make a grocery list of all the ingredients you’ll need. This will help you stay focused when you’re at the grocery store and avoid impulse purchases.

When making your grocery list, try to include a variety of healthy foods from each food group. This can include fruits and vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins and healthy fats.

Get your family involved:

Getting your family involved in meal planning and preparation can make it more enjoyable and less stressful for everyone. Ask your kids for input on what meals they would like to have during the week and encourage them to help with meal prep.

You can also consider making mealtime a family affair by sitting down together at the table and enjoying your meal as a family. This not only encourages healthy eating habits but also creates a sense of togetherness and bonding.

Use time-saving kitchen tools:

Investing in time-saving kitchen tools can make meal prep a breeze, especially when you’re short on time. A few examples of time-saving kitchen tools include a slow cooker, pressure cooker and food processor.

A slow cooker is great for making hearty soups, stews and casseroles that can cook all day while you’re at work. A pressure cooker can cook meals in a fraction of the time it would take in a regular pot, making it perfect for busy weeknights. And a food processor can save you time chopping and slicing vegetables for recipes.

Cook in batches:

Batch cooking involves making large quantities of a particular meal or ingredient and then freezing it for later use. This can be a real time-saver during the week when you’re short on time and need a quick meal.

Some examples of foods that are great for batch cooking include soups, stews, chili and rice. You can also batch cook ingredients like cooked chicken or roasted vegetables to use in meals throughout the week.

Whenever you are freezing meals, ensure that it is done properly to preserve nutrients and always make sure the food is not spoiled and is fresh while consuming it.

Keep healthy snacks on hand:

When you’re short on time, it’s easy to grab a bag of chips or a candy bar for a quick snack. However, keeping healthy snacks on hand can help you avoid unhealthy choices and keep your energy levels up throughout the day.

Some healthy snack options include fresh fruit, vegetables and hummus, nuts and seeds and yogurt. You can also prepare healthy snacks in advance and store them in the fridge or pantry for easy access.

Embrace leftovers:

Leftovers can be a real lifesaver when you’re short on time. Instead of throwing away leftovers, try to incorporate them into future meals. For example, leftover chicken can be used in a salad or leftover rice can be used in a stir-fry.

You can also consider making double batches of meals and freezing the leftovers for later use. This can save you time and money in the long run.

In conclusion, meal planning is an essential aspect of healthy eating and is particularly important for busy parents. With a little effort and creativity, Indian parents can make nutritious and delicious meals that are quick and easy to prepare. By following these tips and tricks, parents can ensure that their families are getting the nutrients they need to thrive and stay healthy. Planning ahead, stocking up on healthy staples and involving children in meal preparation can all make a significant difference.

References

 

By vitalmadevadmin in Health and Special Needs 0 Comment

How can I make my child Independent?

How-can-I-make-my-child-independent.

Dr. Dhanalakshmi N.

Ph.D. (N), PG Psychological Counselling, M.Sc. Psychology

Introduction

Around 3 years of age, children start growing more self-reliant and begin to concentrate more on adults and kids outside the household. They start to explore and ask about the things around them even more. Their interactions with their family and their environment will influence how they think and behave, as well as how they express themselves. During this stage, children should be able to ride a tricycle, be able to dress themselves, play with other children, recall part of a story and sing a song.

How can we encourage independence in pre-schoolers?

Set predictable routines

It can come as a surprise, but fostering independence requires establishing a reliable routine. Even brushing your teeth is a routine because there are several procedures that are constantly performed in the same order: turning on the water, rinsing the toothbrush, applying toothpaste, brushing, rinsing, and drying your hands and mouth. Likewise, going outside requires putting on shoes/slippers, packing a snack and so on.

Let your child choose

Involve your child in deciding what to wear, what to play with, or whom to call. Provide two or three options, and then praise their ability to make a choice.

Let your child help

Children love to help! In addition to building independence, this is a great tool for calming tantrums or redirecting behaviour by giving them a sense of control.

Give your child task or responsibilities

Giving kids responsibilities will encourage cooperation and the growth of empathy. Your child can display appropriate responsibility by performing simple activities like gathering toys or placing laundry in the hamper. In fact, you can incorporate these duties into your regular schedule. For instance, helping load the dishwasher or carrying their plate to the sink might be a part of your child’s mealtime ritual.

Let your child solve problems on her own

Allow your child to attempt difficult tasks and handle minor issues on their own. We frequently blame kids for our tension or frustration. We must allow kids to fall while they are initially learning to crawl or walk. Similar to this, we must allow kids to put their shoes on the wrong foot when they are learning to do so. To move your child on to the next stage, wait until they ask for assistance or make a minor suggestion. Don’t forget to give credit to the effort made.

Nurture free play

Independent and unstructured play is very important for development of creativity, problem-solving and independence. Offer your pre- schooler a variety of art materials such as crayons, markers, chalk, finger paints and building materials/blocks.

Things to say when they work/play

  • Offer verbal feedback, when you are giving positive comments about the qualities that you want to foster in your child and making it more likely these behaviours will happen again.
  • Praise your child’s right behaviour. For example, “Good job building up those blocks!” or, “I’m proud of you for replacing the toys in place.
  • Use reflective speech in order to convey to your child that you are listening and comprehending, For instance, if your kid says, “I constructed a tower,” you can respond, “You made a tower, Wow!”
  • Play and interact in ways that are appropriate. This encourages teamwork by rewarding good behaviour with favourable attention, which is the most effective reward. For instance, when your child constructs a tower, you start stacking blocks as well.
  • Explain the behaviour of your child. This reinforces your child’s constructive play and gets their attention. I notice you drew a rainbow, or we’re building a tower together, these are some possible responses.
  • Show Interest while talking with your child. Your interaction with your child feels warmer and more engaging as a result. You may, for instance, speak in a fun tone, speak with exaggerated emotion, and smile frequently.

References

  1. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/childdevelopment/positiveparenting/preschoolers.html#:~:text=They%20will%20become%20more%20independent,ways%20of%20thinking%20and%20moving.
  2. https://childmind.org/article/how-to-build-independence-in-preschoolers/
By vitalmadevadmin in Behaviour and Discipline, Development and Milestones 0 Comment

How to engage toddlers in productive learning

how-to-engage-toddlers-in-productive-learning

By Dr. Dhanalakshmi N.

Ph.D. (N), PG Psychological Counselling, M.Sc. Psychology

Introduction

It can be challenging to keep preschoolers and toddlers interested. How can you engage a toddler whose favorite word is “no” and whose favourite question is “why”? The trick is to take advantage of their enthusiasm and narrow focus. Early childhood education participants have greater test scores and lower dropout rates. Additionally, it makes kids more likely to succeed in life later on.

How young children learn

Having connections with you, other family members and caretakers like early childhood educators is the cornerstone of your child’s healthy learning and development. A young toddler learns via routine play and exploration in a welcoming environment. Spending a lot of time playing and interacting with both you and other people will help your child develop life skills including talking, thinking, problem-solving and interacting with others.

Active participation in their surroundings helps your child learn best. Some of them include:

  • seeing objects, observing people and hearing voices
  • paying attention to sounds, producing sounds and asking questions like “But why?”
  • experimenting with objects, colors and elements like sand and water
  • Building things out of materials like cartons or toy blocks or otherwise engaging in activities that engage their senses of touch, taste, smell, vision and hearing is an example of discovering.
  •  Other activities include feeling objects, shaking them and turning them around. Toddlers also put objects in their mouths to learn about them. That’s natural. Just ensure they are protected from choking hazard and unclean surroundings.

Your child also learns by getting involved in decision making. This could be as simple as:

  • selecting reading material or playthings to use.
  • selecting an outfit to wear.
  • choosing vegetables for dinner, etc. All kids gain from experiencing a wide variety of activities. As a result, kids have several opportunities to practice what they have learnt. Your child needs both indoor and outdoor activities, physical activity and calm activities, unstructured play and more structured play, for instance.

Tips to engage your child to learn

  • Keep it brief: For children aged three and four, the typical attention span is eight to ten minutes. Make the most of your time while you have it because small kids have short attention spans. Schedule a 10-to-15-minute break between activities. If you need to finish a lengthy task, divide it into smaller sections and give the kids breaks in between to keep their attention.
  • Engage your child: by reading, singing and talking to them as often as you can.
  • Introduce various learning styles: Each child has preferred learning methods and learning styles that work best for her. You can utilise strategies to increase your child’s learning rate and quality by assisting her in identifying her preferred learning preferences. There are seven basic types of learning: auditory, visual, verbal, physical, logical (numerical), social and solitary. Children who are primarily visual, for instance learn best by observing how things operate.
  • Use Game-based learning: Playing video games in the classroom stimulates students to desire to learn while also providing opportunities for deeper understanding and the cultivation of non-cognitive skills. When a child is actively participating in a game, their brain finds it enjoyable to learn a new system.
  • Limit your child’s Media watching: Try to limit your child’s Media consumption (TV, Phone, Computer etc.). This applies whether you are home alone, have a babysitter or your kid is with you. Children need to hear and speak with adults in order to develop their language skills. It is possible and healthy to withhold TV altogether and keep the phone usage to a minimum of 15 minutes per day. Let your toddler learn from the people and environment instead.
  • Make sure your child does homework: Every night, review your child’s homework. Your child should be able to articulate what she is studying. Ensure that homework is finished. Find a quiet area for your kid to study if you can and devote time each night to homework.
  • Identify and celebrate achievements: You should acknowledge and applaud your child’s accomplishments, no matter how minor they may be. Children in elementary school need regular encouragement to study and improve, therefore this is particularly crucial for them.
  • Focus on strengths: For your child to develop and advance in a balanced academic and emotional way, you must concentrate on his or her strengths. Another technique for encouraging your child to keep learning is to emphasise her strengths.
  • Tell a story: Every now and then, children have trouble remembering certain information. But if you weave that content into a story, children will frequently get the lesson very quickly. You can tell stories about specific bits of information, such as the names of shapes or the alphabet’s letters.
  • Use colour: Learning in colour is exciting. Objects, words and images in vivid colours should be included in learning activities. Give children colouring pages with basic shapes, letters or numbers on them and then let them decorate the images with their own colours.
  • Make learning fun and every day a learning day: You may motivate your child to learn something new everyday. Keep it fun. Expose your child to new things, books and learning objects and they will automatically learn.

References

  1. https://www.readingrockets.org/article/simple-ways-encourage-learning
  2. https://www.educationcorner.com/motivating-your-child-to-learn.html
  3. https://raisingchildren.net.au/babies/play-learning/learning-ideas/learning-baby-to-preschool#how-babies-and-young-children-learn-nav-title
  4. https://www.helpteaching.com/blog/how-to-engage-young-learners-toddler-and-preschool.html

 

 

By vitalmadevadmin in Development and Milestones 0 Comment

How to deal with phone addiction in Kids?

how-to-deal-with-phone-addiction-in-kids

 By Dr. Jetson Satya Gospel

Let me start this discussion with a quote by Gordon B. Hinckley: “Encourage your children to read more and watch television less”.

The Times of India, a news publication, recently published a two-part series about how children’s addiction to online gaming is turning them into criminals. In one instance, a child stole Rs 4.5 lakh from his family to pay for the game, while in the other, the child killed his own mother. According to the National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences, instances involving children’s psychological health have significantly increased (NIMHANS). Despite the worry surrounding these challenges, we can raise them with optimism if we take responsible action.

Here are some helpful suggestions to help your child de-addict from television and phone:

Take this acronym “ADDICTION” to be the answer to move children to safety zone offline.

A for Attitude: When parents at home start to adopt a new attitude, kids will soon follow. Be a role-model yourself which you want your kids to emulate.

D for Disconnect: Disconnect from devices and increase interaction with people for work and play. Spend time at home, with each other more and less with phones and devices.

D for Distance: Distance your children from devices. Shut off the TV in the background. Keep the phones out of sight.

I for Imbibe books: Imbibe the practice of reading printed books rather than e-books. Prefer books over cartoons.

C for Communication: Communicate with your children more.  Interact with your friends face to face more.

T for Target: Have a target of zero phone time for children under 18 months, and 15 minutes per day for children under 4 years. Thereafter, no more than an hour of time with devices including TV, Computer and Phone, for up to 6 years of age.

I for Invite: Invite your child’s friends to play physical games outdoors.

O for Oxygen: The much needed oxygen intake increases when you engage in activities outdoors. Walk, run and enjoy the outdoors.

N for No: Say NO to devices during eating & sleep time, firmly.

Avoiding phones and devices is the best practice. During the times that you must use devices, pay attention to keeping your children away from fast moving images and harmful content. The latter can be achieved by certain child safety settings on your phones and devices. Consider going offline before giving the devices to your kids under 6 years. That will also help reduce the exposure to radiation.

References

  1. https://www.quotemaster.org/children%27s+television
  2. https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/lucknow/online-gaming-addiction-is-turning-children-violent/articleshow/92094915.cms?from=mdr
  3. https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/parenting/teen/tips-to-help-your-child-withdraw-from-digital-addiction/articleshow/92977357.cms?from=mdr
  4. https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/hyderabad/study-play-sleep-repeat/articleshow/90947810.cms?from=mdr
By vitalmadevadmin in Behaviour and Discipline, Child Safety 0 Comment

Tips to soothe a crying child

how-to-soothe-crying-child

By Dr. Dhanalakshmi N.

Ph.D. (N), PG Psychological Counselling, M.Sc. Psychology.

Introduction

As children become older, they cry less. children cry when they are irritated, tired, not comfortable, having pain, angry or in distress. Make sure your kid isn’t sick or harmed before you ask them to stop crying. Find out the cause of your child’s distress and how you can help.

Types of cries

Infants typically cry for food when they wake simply because they are hungry. Your infant’s cry for food could become a loud cry if you don’t respond right away. You’ll notice the difference. The baby’s cries will get louder, stronger, and more persistent as she gets older.

Infants and older kids my cry out of hunger, hurt, over-stimulation, sleep deprivation or simply because they are upset about something. Look for the reason behind their cry first.

Ways to calm down a crying child

  • Rocking in a rocking chair or in your arms as you sway from side to side. The calming response is triggered in a child’s brain when being carried or rocked, causing the child’s heart rate to slow and the muscles to become more relaxed,
  • Softly massaging her head or patting her back or chest
  • Singing or talking
  • Playing soft music
  • Staying close and calm. It is important that your child knows that you are still there and with her; this might be by giving her a soothing hug, saying something or reassuring them in a gentle voice or keeping eye contact with the child. A soothing touch and reassuring voice go a long way. They are a better way to stop a child’s cry than scolding her.
  • Taking your child for a short walk. Going together for a short walk can be a great activity.  Avoid conversing for at least 5 to 10 minutes while walking so that the brain can relax, release the stress hormone cortisol and get flooded with endorphins (happy hormone).Talk about and acknowledge their feelings. If your child can express her feelings with words, it can help her recognize and manage her feelings.
  • If your child is older than 2, she may be able to communicate why she’s upset. But first, take her close to you, calm her down and then gently ask what is bothering her. You may also pose questions to see if she’s hurt, hungry or sleepy.
  • Once you know the reason, assure her that you understand her feelings and calm her down. Take the remedial action such as feeding her or giving her rest. If it is something that she needs to understand, explain things to her after she calms down.

References

  1. https://www.parents.com/baby/care/crying/ways-to-soothe-a-crying-baby/
  2. https://raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/behaviour/crying-tantrums/crying-children-1-8-years#preschoolers-and-school-age-children-crying-nav-title
  3. https://sunshine-parenting.com/10-ways-teach-kids-calm/
  4. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/crying-colic/Pages/Responding-to-Your-Babys-Cries.aspx
By vitalmadevadmin in Behaviour and Discipline 0 Comment

Anger management in Kids

Dealing-with-anger-management-in-kids

 – By Dr. Jetson Satya Gospel

My 4 year old gets angry easily. She throws things and shouts. How do I help her manage her anger? Do my kids need anger management or do I?

Let’s start our discussion with a dialogue between a Dad and his 4 year old daughter.

 Dad: Hey Dear! Do you realize what time it is? Isn’t it time to bed?  You are still digging on the mobile!

Daughter: I want to finish this game Daddy.

Dad: Do you honestly believe that that is a good excuse? 

Daughter:  Not at all–that is what I like to do now.

Dad: How many times do I have to ask you to hit the bed soon?

Daughter: Daddy I see you doing that too!

Dad:  That’s beside the point.

Daughter:  Starts crying …. (Action)

Dad:  Next time you use the phone before bed, there will be consequences.

Daughter:  Throws the mobile……… (Action)

Dad sighs with sadness and is about to scold his daughter

Let us stop the conversation between the Dad and the daughter here.

Some kids simply lose their temper from time to time, but other kids seem to remember things more negatively when things don’t go their way. The majority of the time, parents will need to provide additional support to their children to deal with their behaviour. Few would argue the fact that rage and aggression continue to rank among the most important and challenging issues faced by our society, even though official rates of aggression and violence among kids, teens and adults have decreased from their peak level.

Controlling quick reactions can be hard for young children and supporting them can be sometimes difficult for the parents. That is undoubtedly challenging. In any case, keep in mind that you’re trying to teach your children how to deal with anger. If you yell or give in, you’ll demonstrate the same behaviour you are trying to discourage. Your children will observe and witness your own incapability to deal with anger.

So, what can parents do? Here are some tips to deal with anger management issues in your child:

Handling your own irritation: Your behaviour sets an example for your child. When you handle yourself well, it will teach kids to do the same.

Directing feelings and overseeing conduct: These are abilities that foster gradually over time in parenting. Similar to several other skills, your kids should practice and learn them with your help.

Trying to be your kid’s partner: Both parents can support their children to overcome their unpleasant attitudes. Parents can partner with their kids in understanding what troubles them and what cause them to be angry, first. Then they can come up with strategies for the children to cope with their anger.

Modelling anger management: How you behave reflects on your children. When your child acts up, if you respond by screaming and shouting, that only encourages them to do the same. Be a role model in how you react towards your child’s anger and your child will learn to manage his anger better.

Making rules clear and sticking to them: Having guidelines at home is vital for a child’s development. Abiding by them is crucial too, for instance, you could say “No phones after 9pm”. Provide consequences for their actions.

Taking breaks: If you become angry or emotional, try to leave the child in another responsible adult’s hands and take some time off from the situation.

Resting: Ensure kids get sufficient rest. Rest is vital for their growth and development.

Keeping them active: Children that have strong attitudes can benefit much from dynamic play. Encourage your child’s favorite sports and outdoor activities. Let them spend their energy usefully and stimulate their intellect.

Here are some model conduct rules to try:

In our family, we don’t strike or yell in an offensive manner

  • There’s no shouting permitted.
  • You may not toss things or break things deliberately.

Most kids can learn strategies for managing their anger effectively. Talking to other adults about how they raise their children, as well as with teachers, school counsellors, and mentors, may be helpful. If the situation becomes out of hand and unnatural, your child’s primary care physician may recommend a professional counsellor.

 

References

  1. Nelson, W. M. III, Finch, A. J., Jr., & Ghee, A. C. (2012). Anger management with children and adolescents. In P. C. Kendall (Ed.), Child and adolescent therapy: Cognitive-behavioral procedures (pp. 92–139). Guilford Press
  2. Kendall, P. C. (Ed.). (2011). Child and adolescent therapy: Cognitive-behavioral procedures. Guilford Press.
  3. Rodriguez, C. M., & Green, A. J. (1997). Parenting stress and anger expression as predictors of child abuse potential. Child abuse & neglect, 21(4), 367-377.
  4. Holden, E. W., Willis, D. J., & Foltz, L. (1989). Child abuse potential and parenting stress: Relationships in maltreating parents. Psychological Assessment: A Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 1(1), 64.
  5. Burrell, B., Thompson, B., & Sexton, D. (1994). Predicting child abuse potential across family types. Child Abuse & Neglect, 18(12), 1039-1049.
  6. https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/children-and-young-adults/advice-for-parents/help-your-child-with-anger-issues/
  7. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4808268/
  8. https://www.eslfast.com/robot/topics/dailylife/dailylife19.htm

 

 

 

By vitalmadevadmin in Behaviour and Discipline 0 Comment

What should I do if my child cries a lot?

what-should-I-do-if-my-child-cries-a-lot

 – By Dr. Jetson Satya Gospel

Some kids cry over minor matters, as if the world were falling apart around them. Children cry both from their heart and their eyes. To address these issues of “crying”, which may have a cause or not, we need to build a strong foundation with children on understanding their feelings when they cry. Crying is normal. But how we face our children and teaching them how to face the situations make all the difference.

As parents we experience certain feelings and emotions when our child cries. The following is a list of mindful responses to various moods and emotions, that can be used by parents. I have arranged it in an alphabetical order devised from my personal parenting experience.

Adore and show affection frequently and let your children know that you care for them.

Befriend your child and talk to them about what is troubling her.

Calm yourself down and then calm your crying child. It is important that as a parent, you don’t act up when you see your child hurt or unreasonable.

Discipline is important and if your child cries out of injustice or selfishness, teach them that their crying will not give them what they need. Do not allow them to use crying as a tool to achieve bad things.

Emotions of the child need to be your focus, as she cries. Empathize with her. A tender touch, loving response or a hug go a long way.

Fast reaction may be required and so be prepared.

Good to cry for good reasons. It’s okay to cry when a child feels heavy at heart as crying helps her vent out heavy feelings.

Hope that as your child will mature, things will improve. Nothing is going to last for very long.

Inspire your child as a parent to be strong at heart and face challenges with bravery, whether at home or in school.

Justice and fairness should be kept in mind while dealing with your children. Do it gently.

Keen you should be, in knowing the reasons behind your child’s cry.

Love as they are and show your affection even when they cry.

Mindful of the environment you should be, when they cry.

No changing your stance when it is a reasonable one. Let your no be no and yes be yes.

Observe your child’s behavior when she cries.

Polite and kind words should be used, when you speak to your crying child. Show empathy to your child. Let her know that you understand her and feel her pain.

Question her kindly. An interactive two-way dialogue should be practiced.

Reassure your child that there is hope for a positive change.

Sincerely address the child when she is crying.

Thoughtful you must be, about all possible causes of crying.

Uplift your child’s spirits as a coping strategy.

Valiant you should be and teach your child to be strong and brave, when she is facing a difficult situation.

Warm and receptive, a parent must be at all times.

X-factor in this is your own unique strategy!

You should put yourself your child’s shoes and imagine you are of her age and think about how you’d feel.

Zest and enthusiasm for parenting will help you sail through these issues.

References

  1. https://www.chop.edu/pages/crying-over-little-things
  2. https://www.moms.com/tips-parent-child-cries/
By vitalmadevadmin in Behaviour and Discipline 0 Comment